If you have a very attached toddler or young kiddo with intense separation anxiety, you know.
As beautiful as that profound attachment is – it can be a real challenge to balance your needs and the needs of your sweet koala kiddo.
Even though it seems totally the cultural and social norm to outsource childcare, these intensely-feeling children don’t always adapt easily to those situations from babyhood.
Drop-offs at daycare or preschool, or with caregivers they aren’t properly bonded with, can become hugely fraught for all involved.
This is where – for us and families in our situation – Woodland Park Co-op has been utterly amazing.
The whole community goes above and beyond to help children settle in and feel comfortable and secure.
Firstly, and most importantly, you are welcome to stay with your child in class until they are ready to be dropped off.
Secondly, you can explore a wealth of advice and wisdom about settling in children with separation anxiety.
We had several reassuring discussions with our parent educator about what was in the realm of developmentally appropriate in terms of separation from the primary caregiver.
Parent educator: [I paraphrase] “Yes, it’s normal that a two and a half to three year old wouldn’t want to be without the person they feel most safe and secure with, and you’ll see more independence built on the foundations of that dependence from about three.”
We had one chat with one of our preschool teachers about a plan to get our child used to my absences from class and having fun without me. From popping next door to read a book or have a call to going out for errands – until they were happy to go into the preschool classroom without even a backwards glance.
We had a call with our other preschool teacher strategising how to help our kiddo feel at home and secure at the co-op, and our suggestions were considered and incorporated.
Co-op teacher: “Sure, I’ll hang out with him when you’re dropping him off and make sure he’s okay.”
We had several conversations with other co-op members in their second year – or in one of their many co-op years – and received advice.
Co-op member: “Yeah, our kid had trouble with drop offs too at that age. We hung out with them at co-op and managed to drop off before the winter break and then they got really confident and in their stride in the Spring. It worked out great in the end!”
What we learned through this whole journey, is that some kids need more nurturing, more patience and more reassurance – and it’s okay to fulfill those needs.
It’s okay to adjust your expectations to meet your child where they are at, and we have been lucky and privileged to be able to have the resources to do so.
We’re just so grateful to have found a place and community that supported our child to become more independent and social with compassion and respect and acceptance for who he is. To drop him off at the gate with his ‘okay’ – and without deep distress and tears – has truly been a gift.
Woodland Park Cooperative School 